This is what ‘human scum’ looks like



ATLANTA –The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) is investigating what causes some Republicans to turn into human scum.  Scientists suspect it is an auto-immune reaction brought on by over exposure to abuse of power, obstruction of justice and tweets written in ALL CAPS.

The investigation follows a statement by President D.J. Fibberlips that Republican leaders who oppose him are “human scum.”

“At first we believed  the outbreak was isolated to a pair of senators from Arizona – one retired and one dead,” said a CDC spokesman. “But as we looked closer we found additional examples of human scum elsewhere among Republicans – including a number of other former senators, governors and generals.”

Although there is almost no risk of a full-blown epidemic, a nervous Fibberlips has ordered the CDC to develop a cure in time for his likely impeachment trial in the Senate. He even took the unusual step of specifying who should get the first doses: Mitch Romney, Susan Collins and Linda Murkowski.

“The president is acting out of an abundance of caution,” said the CDC spokesperson. “The vast majority of Republicans are in no danger of  becoming human scum. The condition requires a conscience,  an aversion to liars and a deep fear of clowns.”

Brad Broberg



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