Move over, Teddy

Trump Rushmore.jpg

George Washington @ First POTUS
Once again we make history, gentlemen … and President Fibberlips. Five dead presidents tweeting on President’s Day. #extraordinary

President Fibberlips @ POTUS
I’m not dead yet. I was impeached, but I’m still alive and tweeting. #totallyundead

Thomas Jefferson @ Smartest POTUS
Yes, but can you keep it up? #magic8ballsaysverydoubtful

President Fibberlips @ POTUS
Hey old man. You’re, like, what, 300 years old? Can you keep it up? #ifsoseekimmediatemedicalattention

Theodore Roosevelt @ Toughest POTUS
Why do you answer a question with another question? #bethedoesntknow

President Fibberlips @ POTUS
I don’t know. I typically blame Obama or change the subject. #tohillary

Abraham Lincoln @ Greatest POTUS
Chillax, Donald. We’re here to help. You’ll always be the crookedest president ever, but you could close the gap with Nixon if you’d just, ahem, shut the bleep up. #evenwilliambarrsaysso

President Fibberlips @ POTUS
Zip it and get a back wax, Abrahairy. #lindseydoesanexcellentjob

George Washington @ First POTUS
Show some respect! My friends on Mount Rushmore and I are the first, smartest, toughest and greatest presidents. #setinstone

President Fibberlips @ POTUS
GW first POTUS? Maybe. I’ll have to look that up. TJ smartest? Show me the IQ test. TR toughest? Try dealing with bone spurs while avoiding the clap. Then we’ll talk. Abe greatest? UNDERACHIEVER. #couldntevenfinish2terms

Abraham Lincoln @ Greatest POTUS
Underachiever? I saved the union, freed the slaves & wrote the Gettysburg Address. #justsayin

President Fibberlips @ POTUS
Awww, does little Abe need a juice box? #andaparticipationtrophy?

George Washington @ First POTUS
I won the Revolutionary War. #withfalseteeth

Theodore Roosevelt @ Toughest POTUS
I led the Rough Riders. #mypuckerholeisstillcrazysore

Thomas Jefferson @ Smartest POTUS
I wrote the Declaration of Independence & negotiated the Louisiana Purchase. #ucouldn’tevenbuygreenland

Theodore Roosevelt @ Toughest POTUS
And we did it all without Sharpies. #orspraytan

President Fibberlips @ POTUS
Liars! If you think you’re safe because you’re a so-called national memorial, you haven’t been paying attention. #dontmakemefracu

George Washington @ First POTUS
Focus, Donald! We know how to make America great because we did. The only thing you’ve made great so far are SNL’s ratings. #thejokeswritethemselves

President Fibberlips @ POTUS
Check the job reports. I’m the greatest job producer God ever created. You know it. I know it. He knows it. #everycomedianfullyemployed

Abraham Lincoln @ Greatest Potus
Quit bragging and start governing. #orletjavankadoit

President Fibberlips @ POTUS
I don’t want to govern & you can’t make me. So there. I just want to pay Putin back. #4moreyears

George Washington @ First POTUS
I say this as an expert on the subject. You, sir, are revolting. #evenberniewouldbebetter

President ibberlips @ POTUS
NOT! NOT! NOT! NOT! NOT! Furthermore, you are not the father of our country, George. That would be Jim Bob Duggar. #doesthemaneversleep?

Brad Broberg

 

 

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