Talk to the hand

NOT THE NEWSROOM – The ongoing Twitter pity party hosted by President Fibberlips rolled on last week after the United States Supreme Court issued two rulings that rubbed Fibberlips the wrong way.

(Editor’s note: Is there a right way to rub Fibberlips? It’s strictly a rhetorical question.)


One ruling protects people from losing their job because of their sexual orientation. The other allows undocumented immigrants brought to the United States as children to remain in the country under the DACA program.


“Do you get the impression that the Supreme Court doesn’t like me?” Fibberlips tweeted after the two decisions.


(Editor’s note: More than half of the country can’t stand you, so what’s your point, whiny pants?)


President Fibberlips immediately indicated he intends to make a second attempt to repeal DACA.


(Editor’s note: Because, you know, there’s really nothing else going on right now).


The Supreme Court wasn’t alone in delivering a kick in the CENSORED to Fibberlips last week. A federal judge refused to block publication of a tell-all book by John Bolton, a former security advisor in the Fibberlips Administration.


(Editor’s note: Oh what the hell. Let’s tell it like it is. Fibberlips got kicked in the NUTS. Hard. Three times. You gotta problem with that Zuckerberg?)


All of this came on the eve of Saturday’s big Covidiots Convention, where thousands of people in red hats will gather in Tulsa to acquire herd immunity or die trying.


(Editor’s note: OK, so it’s actually a Fibberlips rally, but really, is there any difference?)


In an effort to bridge the nation’s racial divide, the president is ordering attendees to fly their confederate flags at half mast.


(Editor’s note: And enter the rally chanting, “MAGA loves the black people.”)


In addition, rumor has it that Fibberlips will announce plans to replace two white members of his cabinet with two of his favorite but suddenly unemployed African Americans –Uncle Ben and Aunt Jemima.


(Editors note: Although it is not yet known who is being replaced, sources say Fibberlips has assured a nervous Ben Carson he has nothing to worry about.)

Brad Broberg

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