And now a word from a sponsor.
Hi folks. Don here. I ran an ad a few weeks ago for Don & Sons Better Bunker Inspectors – the family business I started after I lost my old job and served five years – I mean lived five years – in public housing.
Did you know that very few people own bunkers? I didn’t. Unbelievable. My parole officer – I mean life coach – should have told me, right?
My old job came with a bunker. I inspected it regularly – especially when the bad hombres showed up. Or a car backfired. Or a balloon popped. That’s where they found me, in the bunker, when they dragged me off to, you know, public housing.
Anyway, since hiding in bunkers is not really a thing, we had to close our business. Sad.
My two boys, Don Jr. and Eric, worked for me. My daughter, Ivanka, too. They also served – I mean lived – in public housing. It’s not easy to find a job after living in public housing. Please keep them in mind if you’re hiring. They are highly dedicated. To nepotism. I mean their work. Whatever that was.
The good news is that nobody knows more about failing at business than me. That’s what they say. I even failed as a casino owner. Failed like a dog. Not a little dog like Reese Witherspoon keeps in her purse. A big dog. Clifford.
I can tell you this. Failure is totally never not an option. Never not ever not not an option! After borrowing a few more rubles – I mean dollars – from an old friend, I’m ready to fail – I mean start over – one more time. OK. Here we go.
Tired of looking bad? Don’s Institute for Ignoring Reality can help.
Don discovered the secret of ignoring reality during the kung flu crisis when he realized that the best way to stop the number of cases from rising was to stop testing. No tests, no cases, sayonara kung flu. Genius!
Don can help you apply that same fubar logic to your life. Troubled by your weight? Don’t look at the scale! Worried about bills? Don’t open them! Drinking too many glasses of wine? Just grab the bottle!
Why wait? Start living you best most ignorant life today. Limited time offer. Book an appointment now and receive a free MAGA hat.