NOT THE NEWSROOM – Congratulations are pouring in from the world’s most notorious authoritarian leaders – past and present — after President Fibberlips joined their ranks by creating a secret police force.
“Just saw the news from Portland. Nice work, bro! Welcome to the club. Now you can karaoke with us.” Kim Jung Un
“You had me at Muslim ban.” Slobodan Milosevic
“Bravo, Fibberlissimo, bravo! Now you must start dressing the part. Please accept these fine Italian jackboots. Perfect for formal occasions or just hanging around.” Benito Mussolini
“My dragons are your dragons.”Daenerys Targaryen
“I was not sure about you. Then I read about your bunker. Willkommen, mein Freund. Tell David Duke Uncle Adolph says was ist los.” A.H.
“The House of Saud sends its regards. And this Rolex. It cost an arm and a leg.” Mohammed bin Salman
“And they said it could never happen in America. Imbeciles! Vive la Fibberlips!” Napoleon Bonaparte
“All hail Tangerinus Maximus. Hero of Lafayette Park.”Julius Caesar
“Pootie here. Am proud like papa watching child remove training wheels. I must take time to savor moment. In blink of eye you will go from snatching people off street to poisoning rivals to making pee-pee tapes of foreign leaders.” Vladimir Putin
“Are you free next week? I’d like to have you for dinner.” Idi Amin