NOT THE NEWSROOM – New polls show a majority of Americans want President Fibberlips to stop contesting the election, but want Rudy Giuliani to continue his highly entertaining descent into unexplored depths of humiliation.
Giuliani, the president’s personal attorney, first displayed his gift for making a five-alarm fool of himself during deranged interviews on cable news shows. More recently he was caught on camera “tucking in his pants” – which earned him immediate membership in a club that includes Pee Wee Herman and Jeffrey Toobin.
Now he and a traveling band of crackpots are barnstorming the country giving enthusiastically factless performances disputing the election results.
After launching their tour outside Four Seasons Total Landscaping in Philadelphia, Rudy G. and the Traveling Lickspittles have announced the remainder of their schedule.
Nov. 10 – Horse Apple Stables in Ann Arbor
Nov. 11 – The sludge pumps at the Pittsburgh sewage treatment plant
Nov. 12 – The Lies Like a Rug carpet factory in Phoenix
Nov. 13 – Hanging Chad Men’s Health Clinic in Las Vegas
Nov. 14 – The Magical Thinking Hookah Lounge in Madison
Nov. 15 – The Aeroflot Terminal in Atlanta
Nov. 16 – Private party at the Kremlin with special guests The Trump Brothers