F-bombs away!

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NOT THE NEWSROOM – Desperate to energize his collapsing campaign, President Fibberlips introduced a new weapon last week – the F-bomb.

“If you bleep around with us, if you do something bad to us, we are going to do things to you that have never been done before,” Fibberlips said during a live radio interview with Rush Limbaugh.
Although the president’s F-bomb was aimed at Iran, observers believe it was just a test obscenity. They predict Fibberlips will drop more F-bombs in the days ahead, but instead of targeting foreign adversaries, he will direct them at political opponents.
“Listen. Fibberlips is under enormous pressure AND he’s all jacked up on dexamethasone after fighting COVID,” said an anonymous source inside the administration. “It’s not a matter of if he’ll drop more F-bombs. It’s a matter of who he bombs first.”
After dropping some random bleep yous and shut-the-bleep-ups on secondary targets like Greta Thunberg and The Pope, Fibberlips is likely to focus on election opponent Joe Biden, said the source.
“The White House is calling it Operation Middle Finger,” the source said. “The plan calls for the president to hit Biden with everything he’s got – bleep off Joe, go bleep yourself Joe, who gives a bleep Joe – from now until Election Day.”
First Lady Melanimated Fibberlips is on standby in case her husband needs backup, the source said. At this point, all she knows how to say is, “Who gives a bleep about the Creasemuss stuff?” and, “Give me a bleeping break,” but she is said to be a quick learner when it comes to talking dirty.
The source said the profanity strategy grew out of the realization that the campaign’s former messaging, Make America Great Again, raises a question: “Why, after four years of Fibberlips, do we need four more years of Fibberlips to Make America Great Again again?”
Although there is virtually no chance that any Fibberlips supporters will ask themselves such a logical question, the White House decided to simplify the messaging in a way that is 100% certain to resonate with his supporters.
“You don’t need a college degree to understand the president if he says, ‘You look gay as bleep in a mask, Joe.’ The words speaks for themselves, right?” said the source.
The source warned that Fibberlips will not limit himself to F-bombs. “The president has a wide range of obscenities at his disposal – both foreign and domestic. They include highly classified and anatomically impossible combinations that not even Quentin Tarantino knows about,” he said.

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