Hello American peeples. Pootie here. Spoken we have not for long period of days. Not since Pootie sponsored Impeachment Theatre. Great show, right? Ratings, were, how you say, above ceiling!
But you ain’t seen something yet. Trial of impeachment and all other crazy news from 2020 will seem like ancient history compared to what is coming after Day of Electing.
President promoting bleach to cure COVID? Forgotted!
First Lady not giving a f— about the Christmas stuff? Forgotted!
Rudy G. going full Toobin? Um, uh, well …
OK. Here is dealski. Ever since I put puppet in White Castle, I knew day would come when, how you say, home to face music would come chickens.
What? You think this was Pootie’s first radio? Give to me a break, Pootie never expected second term for puppet. Biden will crush puppet like Mike Pence crushing walnut between butt cheeks.
Fool American peeples once? Easy! Just feed theories of conspiracy to Sean Hannity. Fool American peeples twice? Maybe. If you live in Idaho or Alapajama. Otherwise nyet.
But that does not mean Pootie is done playing, how you say, raunchy billiards. Hear me loud and clean. American peeples. Peaceful transition of power is for, how you say, kitties.
My puppet will react to defeat with fury and fire between Day of Electing and Day of GTFO – a.k.a. Inauguration Day. Makeup will melt. Hair will unravel. Mouth will foam like rabid rodent.
Trust me. Will be greatest poop show on earth! And I, Pootie, will pull all the strings.
First will come tweets of rage. Then whining to Fox & Friends. Then signing of blank papers. The usual shtick.
Bam! Then puppet will kick it up a notchki. Hide Nancy’s dentures. Refuse to leave White Castle. Take Dr. Fauci hostage.
The chaos will continue for many weeks. BLT will march in streets. Militias will put down GI Joes, grab guns and ride in back of trucks like JV team from ISIS. Antifa will continue to not exist. And sadly there will be some looting. (Am looking for Air Jordan 3 Retros. Size nine. Ping me.)
But do not too much worry. In the end Pootie will make puppet leave White Castle on Day of GTFO. Will be gone like stink from yesterday’s sturgeon, OK?
American peeples must think Pootie is big hater to mess with USA this way. No. Not really. But tell to me this. Why should Borat have all the fun?