BREAKING NOT NEWS – While it is unlikely President Fibberlips will concede defeat in time for Americans to start the holiday season without an orange turd in their punch bowl, First Lady Melaminated Fibberlips is negotiating with incoming First Lady Jill Biden to concede responsibility for decorating the White House for Christmas.
“Who gives a bleep about the Christmas stuff and decorations?” she reportedly told Biden. “My husband is, how you say, crippled waterfowl. American peeples deserve wife of new president to deck the walls and serve the jiggy pudding. Please, Jill. I beg you. Give me a bleeping break.”
Sources say the incoming First Lady initially rebuffed Melaminated’s request, explaining that she and President-Elect Joe Biden plan to spend the next few weeks in the basement taking a long winter’s nap.
However, after Melaminated threatened to reprise her 2018 tribute to Christmas in Transylvania, Biden is said to be reconsidering.