God is in on it!

No photo description available.

NOT BREAKING NEWS — A man who was pronounced dead after overdosing on Funyuns at last week’s President Fibberlips rally miraculously came back to life while being transported to the mortuary.

The man, Earl J. Scratchpitts, told reporters that he spoke with God during a brief stay in the sweet by and by.

“He’s a nice enough feller,” Scratchpitts said. “Not scary or nuthin’. His son seems like good people, too.”

After telling God how and where he “died,” Scratchpitts said he pressed the Almighty for the truth about the presidential election.

“I told him there is no way that Fibberlips lost that election. The Democrats stole it,” Scratchpitts said. “Then I asked him for the God’s honest truth because, hell, if you can’t get the God’s honest truth from God, where are you supposed to get it?”

Scratchpitts then let out a long sigh. “You know what God said? He said the results are obvious. Joe Biden won. By a lot.”

When asked for his reaction to God’s response, Scratchpitts paused. “Well,” he finally said, “there ain’t nuthin’ to say but, damn, this thing goes right to the top.”

Brad Broberg

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: