Let us prey

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BROTHER TRUMP’S TRAVELING DONATION SHOW

Hot TV lights
As the cameras wait
And the folks settle into their seats
Move down the hall to a porcelain throne
And the loud silence of desperate tweets
Sits a cornered man
He’s really up a creek
All those desperate tweets, tellin’ you and me
It’s Trump, Brother Trump, say
Brother Trump’s Traveling Donation Show
He needs the money, but I find it funny
That anyone goes, cause nobody knows
Who does he owe?
Room gets suddenly still
And when you’d almost bet
Lyndsey Graham‘s pants are wet, he walks in
Tie hanging low
And when he shows his face
The look of disgrace can’t be hid
Still he feels no shame
As he starts to plead
Such a sad con game
Time to shear the sheep
It’s Trump, Brother Trump, say
Brother Trump’s Traveling Donation Show
He needs the money, but I find it funny
That anyone goes, cause nobody knows
Who does he owe?
Brothers
I said, brothers
Now you got yourself two good pockets
And when He comes to you in need, you gotta let Him grab everything in those pockets
Beause He’s famous!
And if your pockets are empty, you gotta go to the payday loan store
You gotta dig between the seat cushions, raid your kid’s college fund
Beause He’s broke!
Take his hand in yours
Give him all your dough
He needs to lawyer up, or haul ass to Moscow
It’s Trump, Brother Trump, say
Brother Trump’s Traveling Donation Show
Without more money
The future looks crummy, who does he owe’
I say, Trump, Brother Trump, say
Brother Trump’s Traveling Donation Show
Without more money,
Soon on the run he, where will he go
Trump, Brother Trump, say
Brother Trump’s Traveling Donation Show

Blondes have more, uh …

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CRAZY WITH A CAPITAL C

The minute she walked in the joint
You could tell see she was a train wreck on steroids
A real big hell no
Day drinking, slurring her words
Girlfriend needs to book a vacay at Betty Ford
So let me get right to the point
Her testimony was straight up lunacy
She has issues
Craaaaazy with a capital C
The second she opened her mouth
You just knew that SNL would be fantastic
Writers were ecstatic
Put their feet up, jokes wrote themselves
Too bad they didn’t know about her sex video
So let me get right to the point
She doesn’t have a single shred of credibility
Rudy’s floozy
A boozy doozy
Just like Glenn Close
Craaaaazy with a capital C

Spin, so much spin

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SWEET KELLYANNE

What happened to you?
You look like death warmed over
Weren’t you once a blueberry queen?
You worked for Ted Cruz
But he lost and you left him
Then you joined the orange man’s team
Spin, so much spin
Talking’ smack, alternate facts, did you smoke crack?
Sweet Kellyanne
You were stubborn as a mule
Your husband knew
That your boss broke every rule
Now you’re free from the cult
And you say Biden won, yeah
The orange blowhard lost the race
And so it seems
You finally regained your senses
Good for you but you’re kinda late
Spin, so much spin
Talkin’ smack, alternate facts, did you smoke crack?
Sweet Kellyanne
You were stubborn as a mule
Sweet Kellyanne
Your daughter knew
That your boss broke every rule
Sweet Kellyanne
You were stubborn as a mule
Sweet Kellyanne
You watched your boss break every rule
Sweet Kellyanne
You should’ve known that wasn’t cool